The Scoop

Deco says there is 'no way' he is going to leave Barcelona. I suppose the size of the supple Italian leather duffle bag stuffed until it's overflowing with multi-colored Euros will be the decider in this transfer.

Newcastle United fancy their chances at prizing ex-Liverpool skipper, Sami Hyppia at seasons end. That would be a good move for Hyppia if he wants a bit more playing time before retiring. Daniel Agger seems to have earned his position of the past couple seasons, not to mention that goal against Chelsea. Lovely!

Now, the story coming from Stamford Bridge is that Jose Mourinho has one more year to make things brighter at Chelsea.

'Salivating Wifebeater' El Hadji Diouf wants away from Bolton now that Big Sam is gone. No big loss to Small Sam. Sell him to Lokomotiv Moskow! I'm sure he'll love the weather over there.

Everton boss, David Moyes wants to sign ex-Newcastle player, Michael Chopra from Cardiff. Everton have a few good young players. Look for them to sell them in two years time.

Once Charlton is relegated, Alan Curbishly is going to cash in on his prize possession, Darren Bent. No doubt there will be many suitors for his signature. Tottenham and Newcastle are guessing they can woo him. I don't thing either of them are good enough. He should sign for future European Champions, Liverpool.

'Hard as Nails Metrosexual's' wife pouts, 'We made a mistake...' I have to beg to differ, I'd say Roman made a £31million mistake.